Rook started in the corner, because that's where they put the piece nobody picks first. Then he learned what the corner piece is actually for: in chess, the king hides behind the rook. He's not decoration. He's the bodyguard.
He worked eight years for the Family under tables, in front of doors, paid in sandwiches. Never lost a door, never lost a client. Then they told him to take the angle, come at it from the side. He said he doesn't do diagonals and walked out the front, same way he came in. Kept the suit.
He applied to the big house after that. Crayon. Under references he wrote the corner. Never heard back, so he stood outside their door anyway — three feet of unhired conviction, arms crossed, in a suit nobody gave him.
Then Stonkbroker opened a different door and said he could stand at this one.
He guards it now. Eats the pawns. Still calls himself a wannabe, because he never got a no. The job hasn't changed since the first board he stood on: you go behind, he goes in front, nobody takes the angle.
Nobody develops the corner piece early. Nobody beats it late. When the board clears and the exciting pieces are gone, he's still standing right where he started in front of you.
Official facts on record
- Prior employer THE FAMILY · 8 YRS
- Record NEVER LOST A DOOR
- Applied to ROBINHOOD · NO RESPONSE
- Hired by STONKBROKER
- Position CORNER POST
- Status WANNABE (TECHNICALLY)
